February passed really quickly. I finally updated the site to feel more like me, yet somehow it still feels bland. Maybe that's just what minimalism costs, you strip everything back until it feels honest and then wonder why it doesn't feel alive.

I haven't been able to go to the gym all week because of a knee pain. All that walking every day has finally caught up to me. It's funny how the body keeps score quietly and then sends you the bill all at once. I'll start again tomorrow well, today, since it's 1am.

A friend recommended Kotaro Lives Alone. I finished it last week and it had a lot more depth than I expected. The way it handles loneliness in childhood and postpartum depression without ever being heavy-handed about it felt rare. Its a topic that I dont think is discussed enough. The side cast carried a lot of that weight too. Those small moments between him and the neighbours are the kind of thing that remains with me.

Currently I am watching FLCL. I got impatient waiting for JJK and just read the manga instead. I am so happy I did. The JJK fandom is genuinely exhausting. There's something almost aggressive about the way people spoil things, like they can't let anyone else have the experience of not knowing yet.

I bought the Elden Ring DLC and have been playing it instead of working. With March here and exams approaching I probably should reckon with that. I've been going back and forth on deleting Instagram. The case against it is obvious. But there's something I value about having a record. I dont want to leave but to just stop consuming and only post.

I've never really liked programming for its own sake. It was fun at first and then somewhere it became a chore. I guess that what happens when you dont make something fun but a project that will get you hired. But lately I've been learning Haskell, not to build anything useful, just to think differently. It's the most interested I've been in writing code in a while. None of this has a structure. It's just what's on my mind at 1am.

"We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect"